


pulling the wool over their eyes: step 1. lie.

by collieflower



Series: *gasps* kozu ! >:o [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Mentioned KuroYaku relationship but i havent figured out how to write yaku yet rip, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Streamer Kozume Kenma, They're just so fond of each other, YouTuber Kozume Kenma, announcing your relationship to the world type beat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collieflower/pseuds/collieflower
Summary: "Personally, he's more of an owl to me. It's those big eyes." He sounded like he was offering advice rather than diagnosing Kenma's boyfriend with which brand of furry he was. "And the way he tilts his head. Which I guess can lend itself to a dog-ish type. I dunno. He's just more birdlike. But not frail, like a bird, all hollow boned. More like an attack bird.""Like an owl.""Exactly! Good thinking, Kenma."The one where Kenma accidentally calls Bokuto "babe" on stream and covers the best way he knows how. By telling everyone he was talking to his new dog.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma
Series: *gasps* kozu ! >:o [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019937
Comments: 13
Kudos: 173





	pulling the wool over their eyes: step 1. lie.

**Author's Note:**

> this idea didn't fit into the last fic so here i am again :)
> 
> if "up and coming bokuken writers to look out for" was a category, i would like to be in it .

> _I present to you: kodzuken absolutely thirsting over bokou for four minutes straight_
> 
> * * *
> 
> “Kozu, can I make pancakes? Those ones with the banana?”
> 
> Kenma looked at him like he was crazy. “We’re making pie.” There was flour streaked up his arms, and probably in his hair. Bokuto had been fidgeting and restless for the past few minutes. His Kenma Delegated tasks hadn't even done him any good. He'd wandered to go find something to do and came back with pleading eyes.
> 
> “Yeah, but it won’t be done for a long time. I'm _hungry,_ I didn't eat anything before I came." Kenma had barely looked up from his bowl before Bokuto was barreling on. "You told me we were gonna cook! I didn't know it would take this long."
> 
> “... Then, I guess?”
> 
> "Nice!"
> 
> Bokuto turned around, and Kenma was left to watch after him, lingering for perhaps just a second too long.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "We should go into apple farming."
> 
> Kenma shook his head. "Too much work. Carting around thousands of apples a day sounds like a nightmare."
> 
> Bokuto's laugh boomed across the kitchen. He pulled up his sleeve and slapped his bulging bicep. It was almost as big as Kenma's _head._ "I can move 'em all! You can be our mascot."
> 
> "Sure." Kenma looked down at his tablet, suddenly very interested.
> 
> The clip zoomed in on his red face, the frame vibrating.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "How do people do this every day?" Bokuto asked, chopping the apples with an intense precision. "My wrists are so sore!"
> 
> Kenma was doing little more than watching at this point, cut halfway between his tablet and Bokuto himself. "I think people who do this every day have things to help them. Like those choppers like a lever."
> 
> Bokuto looked at him, his brow furrowed. "Whaddya mean?"
> 
> "Like..." He dropped his head to look at his tablet.
> 
> There was a hard cut, and Bokuto had his chin hooked over Kenma's shoulder. Stars were in his eyes, no doubt taking up most of his vision so he didn't see the goopy affection in Kenma's. "That's so cool! We should get one." He plucked his phone off of the counter, caging Kenma in for less than a second, but the _look_ on Kenma's face suggested that he very clearly realized it as it happened.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Kenma smiled up at Bokuto, who was dusted in flour. It was sticking in his hair, and there was definitely a smattering of cinnamon streaked up his cheek.
> 
> He knocked his shoulder into Bokuto's side, and Bokuto rocked back a few steps, spluttering like it was a great hit. _"Kozu!"_ he gasped. Kenma laughed and laughed, bright and warm.

  
-

Kenma almost forgot he was streaming. They were doing an interactive YouTube journey from the earliest days, just clicking through and seeing where it took them.

Supposedly there was a trapfall or something somewhere down the line. There was a safety net, of course. One of Kenma's moderators went through the links before he touched them, scrubbing through and checking audio just to make sure it wasn't anything too terrible before they proceeded.

Bokuto was fucking around behind the setup, laying across that giant beanbag Kuroo had ordered for Kenma and then didn't even help set up. His phone was propped up on his chest, while his free hand drifted easy through the fur of Mika, Kenma's new kitten.

She was lying in a cream colored ball on Bokuto's stomach, and Kenma really wished he wasn't preoccupied so he could go and take a picture. Every once in a while, Bokuto would drop his phone and make silly little faces at her, murmuring things low so the microphone wouldn’t pick his voice up.

Kenma almost shook himself before turning back to the camera. He took one glance at the chat and hummed. They’d caught on. "I'm not distracted," he defended. Out of his peripherals, Kenma saw Bokuto crane his neck up to sneak a glance. He fluttered pretty white eyelashes at Kenma.

"You look distracted," he offered, looking far too chipper for someone who will inevitably refuse to move from his spot until their cat ran away and let him up.

Fat chance. She was a cuddler.

Kenma huffed at him. "Babe."

Bokuto stilled, blinking wide eyes. Kenma frowned at him, quirking a brow. Bokuto pointed at the computer set up with alarm, and _oh, shit._

He pulled back to see the chat rolling across the screen with alarming speeds.

_“babe?? is ur gf there??”_

_“wHO ARE YOU TALKING TO WHO IS BABE”_

_“f in the chat for the boys holding out for kodzuken. we've been beaten, men”_

_“F”_

_“BABE ???”_

He grabbed his mouse again, shrugging at them. "Yeah, guys. Babe is..." He flicked his eyes to Bokuto, who Kenma very much doubted ever really looked away from him. "He's my dog."

That jostled Bokuto so hard Mika shot away from him, darting under the desk by Kenma's feet.

"Uh, yeah." There was a delicate wince that could probably be either interpreted as _I've been keeping secrets,_ or _I am currently lying out of my ass._ He hoped his audience would assume the former. "It's new. Just brought him in, really. Yeah, a rescue." He reached across to maneuver his pip to invert, making him take up most of the screen. His little YouTube trail video had been forgotten. "I don't know what kind he is. A mix, I guess?"

Bokuto, to the side, rapidly typed at his phone. When he was finished, he pulled up to stare at Kenma. Kenma reached up to flip his own phone on the desk, skimming the notification from Bokuto.

 **_Should I bark ??_ **There was a winky face included, and multiple of those little dog emojis. Kenma almost laughed. "He's mute. Yeah, can't bark, it's really sad."

Deflating, Bokuto sunk farther into the beanbag. His lip was probably puffed out and all dejected looking. Kenma really needed to wrap this stream up so he could go flop on his boyfriend’s body like he wanted to.

There was nothing like wrapping up a day by smothering himself in his boyfriend's chest. Absolutely nothing. Kenma would recommend it, but he was too busy absolutely, happily dying via suffocation in his boyfriend's cleavage.

The stream continued for a while after that. So long that Bokuto ended up sneaking out the door with Mika trailing after him. He came back some time later, showered and carrying a big plate of snacks, and Kenma figured it was time to cut it short.

He wound down, doing his rounds before ending the stream on a good note.

Clicking out of everything and checking twice to make sure everything was shut down, let out a heavy sigh and accepted the bundle of grapes Bokuto offered.

Bokuto slid the plate on a clear spot on the desk and clambered into Kenma's lap. He was careful to keep most of his body off of him, but the weight was as steady and reassuring as his kisses. Bokuto's arms wrapped around his neck, carefully carding through his long hair. When he pulled back, his eyes were gleaming with good humor to match his smile.

"So, your dog, huh?" He laughed, sitting back so he could cup his hands up at the crown of his head. "Whaddya think? Should I get a pair of ears? Maybe a tail?"

Kenma scoffed, jostling him with his knees. It didn't _do_ a whole lot, because Bokuto's feet were on the ground and he had the stability of a fucking rock, the bastard. That's what Kenma got for dating a professional volleyball player. Nothing but trouble.

He would have widened his dating pool, but... well, everyone he knew fucking played volleyball. And a lot of them went on to become professionals.

Fuck, maybe Kenma really should have made more normal friends in middle school.

 _Maybe not,_ his treacherous mind hummed, completely pleased as Bokuto's thumb traced his lips, drawing him in for another kiss.

Disgusting. Kenma would've been brought to his knees if he wasn't sitting.

He would just have to rely on Bokuto's weight to pin him in and keep him secure. Knocky knees and all.

Fine. He'd take it.

He bit Bokuto's lip as he pulled away, and smirked at the offended yelp he took from him. He stuffed a grape in his mouth as Bokuto began a lecture on kissing etiquette. It didn't last very long, especially when Kenma offered a grape to him, too.

Bokuto lit up and his mouth dropped open, waiting for Kenma to make good on his offer. And that was that! Completely forgotten.

-

"So! I heard some news."

Kuroo's voice was too loud, way too early. Kenma had barely dragged himself out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen by the time his phone rang. Kuroo always had that weird sense about him. Without fail, whenever Kuroo called, Kenma was in a position to answer it. It was spooky, and Kenma had wondered many times if he needed to check to see if his house was bugged or not.

It was just Kuroo, sure. But as someone who knew what kind of bullshit Kuroo got up to on a daily basis, Kenma thought a healthy dose of suspicion was the right path to take here.

Kenma scrubbed his eyes and fitted his earpiece in his ear, wondering where the insistent meowing of a hungry kitten went.

"Shouyo and Kageyama are thinking of adopting," Kenma guessed. He reached in the cabinet for peanut butter and crossed the kitchen to get a spoon.

Kuroo was silent for a beat and a half. Almost a record. "I didn't know that, actually," he mused. "But good for them, they'd be great parents. I think."

Kenma nodded, his eyes drifting shut for another second. He wondered if anyone would notice if he just tucked himself back into bed.

_"BUT NO!"_

There went that fucking plan. Kenma jumped so high he almost made eye contact with the dust above his cupboards. He cursed at Kuroo, who laughed, murmuring _sorries_ he didn't mean.

"I heard you got a puppy." The smirk was evident in his voice, thick and smarmy, and Shoyou was officially promoted to the title of Kenma's Best Friend. Kuroo had to go, life partner or no. Kenma let the jar's lid clatter to the cabinet and dug his spoon in the peanut butter. "Personally, he's more of an owl to me. It's those big eyes." He sounded like he was offering advice rather than diagnosing Kenma's boyfriend with which brand of furry he was. "And the way he tilts his head. Which I guess can lend itself to a dog-ish type. I dunno. He's just more birdlike. But not frail, like a bird, all hollow boned. More like an attack bird."

"Like an owl."

"Exactly! Good thinking, Kenma."

Kenma was gonna get a migraine by how hard he rolled his eyes. He stuck a glob of peanut butter in his mouth so he wouldn't snap at him. It was way too early if he was using peanut butter as a pacifier.

God damn it.

It occured to Kenma as he licked peanut butter off the roof of his mouth, that he had become the very thing he had been set out to destroy. 

"I don't have a dog," he said, which sounded like a garbled mess because of the... you know, his mouth was full.

Kuroo understood. That's why he used to hold the life partner title. "Obviously, Kenma. It's gonna be tough to go back on such a lie, though, right? I mean, _there is no dog._ And even if there was, who would name their pet _Babe?"_

"You named your pet Mamas."

"That's because Yaku said it once in that American accent and it was the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life."

Kenma scoffed. Ate more peanut butter.

"Look," he said after a minute. He pulled a mug from the cupboard and went to boil water. "It's not like I put everything on the internet. I can have some things to myself."

Kuroo hummed. It sounded like he was up and around, probably getting ready for work. He didn't hear Yaku murmuring in the background, so he might've been on their apartment's balcony. "Can't tell if you're talking about Bokuto, or the dog."

"Same person."

Kuroo cracked up, snickering into the receiver. Kenma reached up to fiddle with his earpiece and took the volume down two notches. "You're right, of course. Your privacy and comfort comes first."

"Mhm." He made his tea and set it to steep while he put his peanut butter away, washing his spoon while he was at it.

"Anyway." Kuroo groaned low in his throat, like he bent over backwards in a stretch that wasn't quite as fluid as it used to be. Old. Kuroo was getting old. "So the shorty is getting an even shorter shortie. Amazing, really. They could probably stack like those tumbling dolls."

Kenma dunked his tea bag in his tea, nodding to no one. "Just like you and Yaku."

The groan was not of the stretching-kind this time. "Don't even joke. I love him so much, but imagining another tiny Yaku running around... Terrifying."

Kenma laughed. "I would like to see it."

_"Absolutely not!"_

-

If there was one thing Kenma hated telling Kuroo, it was that he was right.

Turns out people don't really believe you if you do something sus and then blame a nonexistent dog that you never show because "He's camera shy, he hates being seen."

A lie on a lie on a lie.

Because Bokuto, the non-puppy his viewers kept mentioning and couldn't forget about for the life of them, _loved_ cameras, and fucking adored beeing seen.

He really should have checked out some dog ears on a hair band or something.

But no. That would only add fuel to the Twitter garbage fire that had been taking over his mentions lately.

"—so no stream tomorrow," he shrugged a shoulder. "Something personal came up, and I can't just drop it, so we're just going to call it off." Bokuto happened to have the week off, and they were supposed to spend it together. Kenma was 100% sure that he was going to be dragged out into the wild somewhere, and was doing his best to mentally prepare. "Next week's is still going through."

One of the questions popped up, cinching his mouth into a frown. It was getting ridiculous. "No, you can't see Babe. I don't post him to respect his privacy. And there's already plenty of people out there who post their pets. I am not becoming another one."

Just the lie coming out of his mouth had him cringing. He needed to call Shouyo and see if they could get a prayer circle together or something. If anyone knew how to do that, it was probably Shouyo. Or Kageyama. If nothing else, Kenma was sure that he could find something that worked off of one Reddit thread or another.

People were persistent, though. He wasn't sure if even the dark arts could deter them.

It was becoming its own subgenre of meme in his corner of Twitter. They were cultivating it themselves, joking and laughing and bonding over it. He seriously doubted that they were going to take whatever a prayer circle had to offer lying down.

> **kodzuken anti** @kodzuscatears
> 
> pov i'm kodzuken after everyone believes me that i’m not hiding my secret spouse in my recording room after telling everyone xyr a puppy
> 
> * * *
> 
> **✨ BIRTHDAY BOY ✨** @
> 
> me when i'm the gremlin living w kodzuken and he acknowledges me heart emoji
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Ivy** @janglethecat
> 
> i am babe. in such the way that i, too, would like to be called babe by kk before being treated like a dog fist emoji weary emoji bottoming emoji
> 
> * * *
> 
> **foreheadprotectionsquad** @moli1546844242
> 
> shoutout to babe!! they're probably the one living in the deserted tent in @kodzuken 's ac island . puppy can't even earn miles, i love him sm
> 
> * * *
> 
> **💦👌😩** @hellblaze69
> 
> mika when kodzuken invited babe the demon in to stay with their house
> 
> * * *
> 
> **tin foil hat** @lizardman214
> 
> this is a mika appreciation post because yall forget about the og too much
> 
> * * *
> 
> **❤️🥺❤️** @steponmekozu
> 
> and BABE IS A MARKETING PLOY—
> 
> * * *
> 
> **anti forehead squad** @crowinsimplycrowin
> 
> kozuken twt this week rlly do be like

The memes...

Kuroo wouldn't stop sending them to him. Their direct messages were a flood of satirical bullshit Kenma had come to expect from his audience.

And then there were the theories. It was an unspoken aura around the jokes. There were two camps of people who meme'd about it because their friends were doing the same, and then the camp of people who genuinely believed that Babe the dog was... well, bullshit.

It was hard to tell who was who.

-

Kuroo had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his hair was sticking up weirder than usual. It almost looked like he'd been doing all the heavy lifting rather than delegating the kitchen work between the rest of them. _Bokuto_ was the one elbow-deep in semolina while Kenma peeked in the pot simmering on the stove.

"If there's one thing Kenma knows, it's how to keep up engagement." He was probably scrolling through Twitter again, Kenma realized. His nose was in Kenma's iPad, reading glasses on the tip of his nose.

Bokuto nodded and reached across for the little mound of flour close to his work station. "It's because he's fun," he said.

"Yeah," Kuroo snorted. "Fun to watch because he's a shit liar."

"People will forget in a few weeks," Kenma insisted. He stirred the sauce in the pot, wrinkling his nose at how it popped. "It's bubbling."

Kuroo murmured a little _oh,_ before coming to turn the stove down. He took the spoon from Kenma, who took the hint to move away. "Probably. Especially since you haven't addressed anything to do with it." He slid the lid back on the pot and put the tablet away. He turned and watched Kenma shuffle from foot to foot in his own kitchen. "It's entertaining, at least."

Bokuto made an affirmative noise, barely pausing to set a timer on his phone before he went back to kneading his dough.

If there was one sight on this earth that Kenma loved, it was Bokuto baking. That wasn't exactly what he was doing right now, but the mechanics were the same. The kneading, and the dough, and bulging forearms that Kenma personally knew were so powerful... He appreciated the sight.

The look Kuroo sent him translated to a smug _really?_ Kenma rolled his eyes and continued taking the picture he'd gotten his phone out for. His boyfriend is standing in his kitchen, making pasta from scratch in a pretty yellow apron. Kuroo could go judge him from the living room if he had problems.

"Maybe we ought to get a dog," Bokuto suggested. He had this frown that would deepen with every push of the dough and lessen as he came back. It could probably be classified as thoughtful, but Kenma put it on the concentration. They'd only done this a few times, after all. The first time was a fucking disaster that Bokuto ate out of spite. He'd been getting better at the whole thing recently, sure, but practice made perfect.

And once Bokuto set out to figure something out, it was only a matter of time until he perfected it, no matter how difficult.

Which was why they were making pasta in the first place. And why Kenma had the same meal twice this week. Because once Bokuto got something in his head, it was hard to pry it out, no matter the cost. Hours of practice later on the court, or the little pudge Kenma was developing, no cost was too great for Koutarou.

"Kenma doesn't like dogs," Kuroo piped up, slinging an arm around Kenma's shoulders. "Which is part of why he's such a shit liar. If you had said Bokuto was a cute little kitty, everyone would have believed you. I mean, you've already got Mika and everything. And cats are naturally moody and antisocial."

Kenma huffed and pushed Kuroo's arm off his shoulders.

The look on Kuroo's face lifted, looking terrifyingly gleeful. "See? Kenma, you're a cat person."

Bokuto nodded. "All you Nekomas make me think of cats!" he chirped, glancing at them.

Kuroo snorted. "Heard that one before."

A blaring trumpet filled the kitchen, and Bokuto jumped away from the dough. "Nice!" he yelled, pumping his fist in the air. He swiped across his phone to shut the alarm. Kenma grimaced at the oily streak and grabbed it to wipe it off on a spare towel. He tucked it in Bokuto's back pocket and reached up for a kiss as Bokuto shook his hands out. Bokuto grinned against his mouth and pecked a few more kisses to his lips before pulling away.

He pinned the ball of dough down with an intense stare as he worked his wrists.

"Alright. Let's do this. Kuroo! The knife!"

-

> **anti forehead squad** @crowinsimplycrowin
> 
> as you can see here, there's plenty of clips of kodzuken's house and it's NOT all that big. yeah if a dog was particularly moody he'd probably hide away bUT
> 
> as you can see here, this is a clip where kk said that he doesn't like dogs. yeah, it was a stream like two years ago, and yeah nobody really hates dogs, but EVIDENCE SUGGESTS
> 
> in t h i s clip you see that kk says that babe is his dog that he just rescued, but in this clip, he says that babe is a friend's. here, he's kk's again. what is the Truth ? 🤔 👀
> 
> alSO: here is mika ! kk's cute lil babie kiddy. she seems so calm all the time it's weird to think that there's someone encroaching on her space
> 
> where does this take me ?
> 
> like idk but i think babe is the ghost kodzuken named and then was embarrassed that he named a ghost. ok end thread i gotta go pick my brother up from school

-

The game's sounds flickered in his ear like an audible strobe light.

"We've only got six minutes to do this," he muttered, glancing at the rolling chat. He bit out a curse, and his character on screen rolled on her shoulder to avoid an attack. He had thirteen HP left on a boss that landed a 24 minimum. All his support was used up earlier in the level. He was fucked.

"Gotta be smart about this, we're gonna back off and use quick long-range attacks so he can't reach us. It'll take longer, but at least we don't have to come all the way back in here. This terrain is exhausting."

There was a soft knock at the door, and Kenma's hand shot out to pause the game. "Hang on, guys."

Kenma had been expecting the knock since he got the alert that the front door of the office had been accessed. He and Koutarou were supposed to go home together after Kenma was finished with work today.

Kenma called out a greeting, and the door inched open. Bokuto's head poked in the door, and Mika squirmed her way in from between his feet.

Bokuto blanched, trying to catch her before she got too far, but she darted across the room. He winced. "Sorry. I know you're streaming, but I got dinner. I can put it in the fridge, if you need."

Kenma hesitated for just a second. "You can bring it in here. Do you wanna come on?"

Bokuto lit up, a grin coming to him at an alarming rate. "Yeah! Let me grab the stuff, wait."

Nodding, Kenma went back to the stream. "Sorry everybody." He picked up his controller again and adjusted his headphones. "We're gonna have a guest in a few minutes," he announced right before unpausing the game.

He lost within the two minutes it took for Bokuto to come back. He cursed, long and low, glowering at the fucking game over screen.

"How's it goi—Oh, yowch. Guess you're not so hot after all, huh, Mr. Kodzuken?" Bokuto teased, coming just into frame.

Kenma snorted at him. "You try it, see if you're any better. Here, drag that chair closer." Bokuto dutifully did as he was told after sliding Kenma his bowl and chopsticks. Kenma handed him a free mic and Bokuto's own neon orange headphones. Once he was settled, took up his bowl. "Are you not eating?"

He shook his head. "No, I ate before I came." Bokuto caught himself in the second monitor and seemingly remembered why exactly they were here. "Hey, hey, hey! I'm Bokuto!"

"They know who you are. See?" He nudged Bokuto with his elbow and gestured down to the chat, which scrolled with various questions sparsed with yells of _bokuto stream !!!!!!!_

Bokuto scanned the chat with wide eyes. "Well damn, Kozu. You should have told me I'm in high demand, I would have popped in a lot sooner!"

"Your head is too big already," he advised, mouth full. He swallowed and narrowed his eyes. "You should try this game. Here." He put his bowl down so he could finagle his headphones off his head and swap them with Bokuto's. He gave the controller to his boyfriend and accepted his mic in return. He couldn't really balance the mic-bowl-chopsticks combo anymore, so he put the bowl in his lap and settled in. "Go ahead, since I'm not so hot. You know from experience, right?"

The exact moment when a challenge sparks Bokuto's eyes is clear as day, even to the casual fan, or the abject stranger. He got all tense around the eyes in a way that would definitely leave him with crows feet. His gaze got all intense, like that attack bird Kuroo was harping about however many weeks ago it was. A predator with something to prove.

And it was on.

Kenma was content to sit back and watch him play, eating his dinner and offering blithe advice that got Bokuto cranky and worked up. Bokuto got funny when he was worked up. His determination shone through. The click of the stick against the plastic casing was intense, almost enough to rival the tapping of buttons.

"What's your strategy here?" Kenma asked at one point. It wasn't a nice tone, but one meant to _jab,_ and to escalate. The kind that Shouyo uses when he wants something from Kageyama, or how Kenma baits Kuroo into things.

From Bokuto, he didn't get very much of an answer, because he had already cleared the level before he got a word in edgewise.

He yelled in victory, throwing his hand up as he turned his chair towards Kenma. "Did you see that?!" he demanded. "Pretty stinkin' cool, huh?"

"Very cool," Kenma nodded. "Three seconds before time, so proud of you."

Looking past the fact that Kenma himself had fucked up the level, Bokuto had botched it twice in his stubbornness to complete it.

"I could beat you in this game!" he huffed, looking like he was three seconds away from shaking the controller in Kenma's general direction. "Come on, grab a controller, let's go!"

"It's a single player game, Kou."

"Another game, then!"

Kenma stared at him for a second, contemplating. He turned back to the camera. "What about Mario Kart?"

"I'm terrible at Mario Kart."

Kenma grinned. "I know."

"No, let's do the one with the squids and the street paint."

"Oh, I can do that." Kenma reached over, pulling the first game out of the Switch before going to his game shelf. He saw Bokuto scoot closer to the monitor, squinting at it.

"Consider this," he read aloud, "bucket hat merch." He pulled back, and those stars were back in his eyes. His mood switched, and Kenma was left to keep up. "Kenma, you should! You could put Mika's cute little face on them!"

Kenma plucked the game off the shelf and brought it back to the desk. "I think they're talking about my logo," he said, picking the mic back up. "Branded merch."

"Sure, but imagine her cute little face stitched on a hat!" He pushed his chair back, and dove under the desk. Kenma heard a little wheeze before he popped back up, Mika in his arms. "See? Look, Kenma." He held her little paw and waved at Kenma with it. "She's so _cute."_ He nuzzled her face and pressed little kisses behind her ears.

Kenma hummed and finished setting the game up. "I'll think about it."

Mika pushed herself out of Bokuto's arms, climbing up his shoulders. She meowed, tilting her body towards Kenma. He scooted closer, and she tentatively climbed on his shoulders. He leaned back in his chair so she could get comfortable. Bokuto was looking all fond towards them, and he was one hundred percent gonna blow their cover if they didn’t move on.

And then that smile pulled up a little bit, making him look almost like Kuroo. "You should make merch of Babe, too!"

Kenma snapped his head to him. Bokuto fluttered his eyelashes all pretty and awful, like he was playing on an inside joke. He smiled, and then his attention was on the game. "You should put his little handsome face on a bucket hat, too! I think people would love it." He leaned in, and Kenma jolted back right before he realized Bokuto was going for Mika, giving her cute little kisses. Oh how easy it would be for Kenma to strangle him right now. But that would jostle the Mika. Damn.

Bo won this round.

"I'll think about it," he repeated. "Maybe get in contact with the design team." Bokuto grinned, looking very pleased with himself.

Kenma was already thinking of little embroidered Bokuto heads for design ideas. Yeah, he'd be in contact.

-

Kenma was waiting for him as soon as he came into the apartment.

They didn't spend a whole lot of time at Bokuto’s place. After dates, they went home to Kenma's. Bokuto stocked Kenma's fridge more than his own, and every time Bokuto needed something essential, he was always texting Kenma that he was on his way home to come and get it.

Kenma's bedroom was theirs.

It was their kitchen, with the mixers and the dish duty. They had split vacuuming duty, and a tight schedule on who fed Mika.

Bokuto's apartment was little more than extra space to keep the things that hadn't yet been fully integrated into the house.

Between Kenma and the privacy of his own mind, he intended to ask Koutarou to move in with him before the year was out.

He'd been here about an hour, most of which he spent lounging on Bokuto's couch, catching the sun that poured in from the wide windows. That would be one drawback of Bokuto moving out of this apartment. The sun the living room got in the afternoon was _unreal._

When Bokuto got home, his hair was wild, more windswept than its usual pointiness. Kenma greeted him with a kiss and pulled him into the apartment.

"Is something up?" he asked somewhere between pulling his shoes off and Kenma grabbing his cheeks and kissing him.

"No." It was true. Nothing especially pressing that wouldn't wait for later.

Bokuto hummed against his mouth, smiling. "I need to shower. You good for, like, ten minutes?"

Kenma nodded, accepting one more kiss before following Bokuto down the hallway.

"How was practice?" he asked, watching Bokuto pull his shirt over his head.

 _"Hard,"_ he groaned. "Little Hinata got something in his head, and wouldn't stop until he got it right. Which, I understand. But it's lots of work. Suna's gonna have it out for him for a few days."

Kenma hummed. That was Shouyo for him. "Tell me more about it when you’re finished. I'm going to order in for dinner since there's not much food here."

Bokuto grimaced, looking back with one hand on the bathroom doorpost. "Yeah, I forgot to get groceries. I've got protein powder! And, uh... pre-workout." He propped his shoulder up against the doorjamb and thought for a second. "Maybe celery?"

"I'm ordering in." He was already looking down at his phone. Bokuto made an affirmative sound and went to shower.

The end of the evening saw Kenma stuffed into the back of the couch, with Bokuto laying on top of him. It was a delicate balance to avoid any _hey, you're crushing me_ type of complaints.

They were watching some episodic documentary series on the evolution of the fantasy genre. Between one episode and the next, Kenma had begun running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. He rested his phone atop Bokuto's head with the other hand, quietly scrolling jumping from Reddit to Twitter to his text bank with Kuroo or Shouyo, all the while keeping up with Bokuto's little comments about the show.

One episode's credits began to roll across the screen, and Bokuto smothered a yawn into Kenma's shirt. 

"Hey," Kenma murmured, tapping him twice on the top of the head. Bokuto hummed a question, craning his head back to look at Kenma, blinking sleepily. "Do you wanna tell people about us?"

Bokuto blinked at him. Kenma watched as he slowly wrapped his mind around the concept like putty. He nodded, “If you want to.” Taking the time to adjust himself, he propped his chin up on Kenma's chest, cushioned by folded hands. "It'd be nice to be less secretive in public, huh?"

"It would be, yeah."

"You’re sure?"

"I'm sure." Kenma set his phone to the floor and held Bokuto's cheeks in his hands. "’m proud of you"

Bokuto grinned, happy and relaxed. He scooted up to kiss him. "I love you." Kenma hummed. "You gotta remember that when we tell people, though," he warned. "You know how people post their pets and it's all cheesy on Instagram? That's going to be me about you as soon as we tell people."

Kenma snorted, pulling on his ear. "That's called a stan account."

"Easy. Then I'm gonna be the biggest Kenma stan account." He ran his nose down Kenma's jaw, like a love struck, ridiculous fool.

Well, that made a pair of them. 

"Changed my mind," Kenma announced.

"Huh uh! You can't, too late. I'm drawing up the wedding invitations right now."

"Don't tell Kuroo. He'd want to pick the colors."

"I'm texting him as soon as I get up. Give me your phone, I'll do it right now!"

Kenma caught his hand and brought it back down in the same movement that he swcooped in for a kiss. A sneaky distraction, sure.

He was just glad it worked on Bokuto, too.

-

The _lead up_ to the whole affair was as dramatic as humanly possible. There was vague hinting that something was coming up, backed by ominous tweets and a drawback on streams that week. When he finally put out the post informing everyone that he was live, the stream was called _Addressing the Concerns._ Kuroo's idea. He thrived on that kind of thing, and pulled the strings like a particularly dedicated puppet master.

Kuroo's plucking and prodding led him here, sitting in his red and black chair, trying to look as serious and deadpan as possible for something so... dumb. He was getting restless, and he figured it was just Bokuto's nerves leeching onto him like a cold.

"Addressing the conspiracy theory that's been gaining traction recently." Kenma ran around a tree on screen, gathering a few cherries and moving onto the pears.

It probably lessened the dramatic effect because he was in the middle of playing Animal Crossing, but he needed something to keep him at least a little preoccupied. "Let's go by this point by point. I can do two things at once. I have somehow been able to avoid the influence of those around me." He gave a little smile.

"Wait, let's go back home and grab the iron, it's been a while since we built a shovel, and I know it's going to break." He set off, eyes flicking to the opposite monitor to keep on top of things. "People don't think that Babe, my dog, is real." There was a pause before he broke, huffing a little laugh. "Yeah, this is dumb, but it won't stop cropping up, so I have to address it, especially with new circumstances cropping up."

He went home and grabbed the iron out of storage before setting back out. "Their first point is that my apartment is too small to house a dog. This doesn't make sense, because all the pictures they provided were taken in my office. I don't always work from home. I have plenty of space for a pet. Next is, ah... oh, so they said that there's inconsistencies with who the owner of Babe is. He was originally my friend Kuroo’s, but recently, Babe has been staying with me. It's an adjustment. Babe has been around a long time, I just haven't shown him. Like the office, it's good to have a sense of separation in work and personal life. They also said that the lack of toys around the house was a sign. This goes back to the fact that Babe lives at my home. They proposed the idea that Babe is just a live-in friend, and if that was the case, why all the trouble?" He sighed, glancing off-screen for a second before coming back.

"That’s the situation. Now that we’ve gone through, we decided that we might as well formally introduce you to Babe." He left his game running with little Kodzuken standing in the middle of Nook's Cranny and swapped perspectives, with his camera taking up the majority of the screen. He removed his headphones and put them on the desk before getting up and leaving the room.

Right outside, Bokuto was shuffling from foot to foot. His attention was glued to his tablet where the stream ran a few seconds behind real time. He whipped his head up as Kenma slipped out the door, and he floundered. "Are you sure?" he asked, almost hopping with unused energy. "We can probably borrow a puppy if you're not sure. Kageyama lives around here, he and Hina got a dog, and I think they'd let us borrow him for a while."

He grabbed Bokuto's sleeve, pulling him closer as he rocked up on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I'm ready if you are."

With a nod, Bokuto set his jaw. This was the look right before he took points for his team. He'd heard the speech time and time again from Shouyo about how _cool_ Bokuto looked in this state, and Kenma was inclined to agree.

Cool or not, they were both obviously six seconds away from running away and cutting the internet connection on their way out.

As much as people might like that bit of theatrics, Kenma preferred that they get this over with.

He held Bokuto's hand, and in they went.

One of his mods must have set the chat to slow, but he was only able to skim a few comments as they settled in. He palmed Bokuto's headphones into his hand and waited for him to pull them on before handing him the free microphone. He raised his eyebrows at him and got a grin and a thumbs up for his troubles.

He nodded, slipping his own headphones on, looking to the screen as he unmuted his mic. "Okay, so the theory is true, Babe isn't a dog." He grinned and held his hand out. Bokuto wasted no time in plopping his chin in his palm. "I called him babe on accident, and none of you would let it go. Welcome my boyfriend Bokuto back to the stream."

Bokuto's wave was so large he accidentally smacked Kenma in the face. He spluttered, a hand coming up to his cheek in the same moment Bokuto realized what happened.

"Did I— _OH, I'M SORRY—!"_

Kenma's shoulders shook with laughter, and Bokuto froze next to him, his hands hovering like he didn't know what to do, a pained grimace stuck on his face. "I'm fine," he waved him off, palming his face away. "Let's play Animal Crossing."

All relief swept out of Bokuto's body as he slumped. “Come _oooon!_ I'm terrible at this game."

"You've got to get out of your tent _sometime."_ He picked up the controller and handed it to Bokuto. "Come on. I left the bottle on the beach for you this morning."

"Ah! Okay then, let's go!"

**Author's Note:**

> said it before and i’ll say it again bokuken is the only thing getting me thru nanowrimo and you may quote me .
> 
> THAT AND MY BABIE java ily tysm for your help n reading thru this ily
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/bardicyearning)
> 
> everyone who's been commenting on my fics recently ,, i luv u guys you're 100% my main motivation lately


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